day care

Wednesday's trip was achieved by my taking a holiday from work (a day I might accrue rights to sometime before Easter). Yesterday I tried again to work from home, but Mum was impossible again, and I felt close to tears as she settled back into her 4-minute-interruption routine. I spoke to my HR Representative, who encouraged me to take off all the time I needed up to Christmas and offered to find another person to fill my role at work. I didn't want to take up this offer because the role is uniquely based in my home city and on an interesting project. 

I did however say that I'd like to take today as holiday, too, because I didn't feel comfortable in my decision having only taken Mum to see one Home. This is self-sabotage, perhaps, viewing other places after finding one that Mum likes, but my conscience and I are on somewhat estranged terms and communicate through my gut these days rather than thought. I set to locating some nearby homes for comparison and lined up a couple to investigate today.

We set out around 11 am and drove for 20 minutes to a neighbouring small country town. Here we visited a lovely stone house which had been tastefully extended. The lobby led on to several lounges of varying sizes, filled with armchairs and chatty older people enjoying a sherry. We met the Manager, who took us on a tour of the hotel-style dining room and then sat with us in a typical suite, which was comprised of a sitting area, a bedroom and a wet-room. Although this Home didn't advertise as having an EMI/Dementia capability, the Manager told me that in her opinion Mum would fit in excellently into the demographic.

She told us that the only available room had just recently been taken, so there was no guarantee when they would be able to house Mum, but then she offered to take Mum in as a day-care resident for £50 per day, with a view to giving her the next vacancy. This would mean me dropping Mum off in the mornings and picking her up in the evenings. Mum would be fed both lunch and dinner, have an opportunity to bathe in a special bath with a chair hoist, and get her hair styled on-site. This would leave me free to work and would be an excellent opportunity for Mum to sample life at this Home. I actually teared-up with relief at hearing this.

I like the place a great deal: the facilities were more like those of a good hotel than a Care Home, and the staff warm and funny. Several residents told us, without prompting, how much they liked the place. My only reservation is that this Home is convenient for me but would leave Mum out of reasonable visiting-range for her other relatives. However, I think I'm going to take up the day-care option for now.

We didn't visit the second place I'd found. There didn't seem a point any more.