Thursday, 20 December 2007

spoilt for choice

I had a feeling this would happen. Coincidences like this only happen in life - you wouldn't get away with it in fiction.

I'm due to move Mum into her new accommodation in Cheshire tomorrow. Today is her last Day-Care at the place closer to my home. I sat down with the Manager there this morning and told her that we'd had confirmation of a place for Mum elsewhere. And, of course, she said "I was just about to tell you that it looks like we have a room free here..."

Typical, eh?

So, I'm in a quandary. The Home nearer to me (where she's been going for Day-Care) is lovely and the staff are warm and friendly and already very fond of Mum. She's developed some relationships there over the last 2 weeks. However, this Home isn't geared for EMI (Dementia) and if Mum were to worsen, I would have to find her a new home again. Given that her Dementia is Vascular, it's likely that her deterioration will be in step changes rather than a gradual decline.

The place in Cheshire, on the other hand, is an hour away from me but closer to several sets of relatives, who would be more likely to visit Mum. Also, this place is geared for EMI, and has Nursing capabilities if Mum's condition advances significantly. My concerns are that we haven't seen the other residents. If they're well advanced in their Dementia, then Mum might freak out and be miserable. I know that this Home is the sensible option, and that my worries are speculative rather than based on anything real, but I'm anxious all the same.

This morning, the Manager at the Day-Care place was telling me that one of her staff had been disappointed not to see Mum yesterday and had claimed that she had switched shifts because she wanted to see her. Just then, the staff member walked through Reception. The Manager said: "It looks like Anita won't be coming here after today."
"Right!" said the staff member, "That's it, I'm resigning!"



BigAssBelle said...

what a dilemma. i don't know what i'd do either. my dad's dementia is vascular too.

i spent a week telling him why i wasn't answering the phone at home or at my warehouse (power out) and found myself getting frustrated. it was mainly that he sounded so wounded because he couldn't reach me and i couldn't get him to keep the fact of our not having a phone in his head.

this fucking disease.

Greg said...

Oh God, that reminds me of a time in 1999/2000 when I was working in a different city, living out of a suitcase during the week. Even though I had a mobile (cell) phone and Mum knew the number, she'd leave angry messages on my home answer machine because I'd not responded to calls she'd made there. I couldn't get her to understand the concept of me being in another place during the week. If my voice was on the answer machine then I was there as far as she was concerned. Nowadays it's worse, of course, by the end of the answer machine message, Mum has forgotten that she's talking to a recording, and she gets annoyed that I'm not responding.