Friday, 21 March 2008

fight club

Mum’s telling me about a run-in with Screaming Lady. As usual, the crone had come up to her and was calling her a Bitch.

“So I pushed her and she fell over and was screaming even more.”

I’m shocked to hear this. I’ve never known Mum to be violent in any way. Even more shocking to me is Mum’s amused tone of voice. I tell her that she can’t go pushing old people to the ground.

“She’s not old” she says, scornfully, “She’s young… she’s a young woman.”
“Mum, she’s older than you!”
“No…. she’s about… “. I hear Mum ask a staff member…. “She’s 86.”
That’s 7 years older than Mum. I don’t expect Mum to be able to do the calculation, but I would hope that she would realise that 86 is “old”.
“Mum! You can’t push over an 86-year-old. She could break a hip or something. You’ll get into trouble. Can’t you just walk away from her?”
“I suppose so.”

Parenting is so hard.

4 comments:

Sorata said...

You should tell your mom if she continues to push other people, she'll be grounded... :D

Greg said...

Thanks for commenting on this one. I'm still shocked about this incident. It's so unlike my Mum - more like a kid in a playground. But then I never knew my Mother as a kid... Hah! I like that about being grounded. Funny thing is, I don't think she'd notice. She isn't curious about the outside world any more. She does enjoy our trips out, but she'll spend the rest of the week indoors quite entertained by all the activity (when she's not pushing over old ladies).

Miz Kizzle said...

Sadly, aggression can be part of dementia.
In your mother's case, I'd say the Screaming Lady had it coming. She'd probably see it as a sign of weakness if your mother told her that her words hurt her feelings and suggested they try and get along. A good solid push and a snarled, "Don't fuck with me, Gladys!" gets the message through much better.

Greg said...

All the residents loathe screaming lady, who has suffered a sharp decline and now lies in her bedroom saying "oh dear me" over and over (and much more quietly than before).

She was vile to Mum but it was good to see that Mum can stand up for herself and doesn't take against the Home despite this one troublesome resident.

Oddly enough, it seems like most of them don't especially notice each other and focus on the carers/visitors as if they are only there for them individually. Each time I visit, I find I have at least 5 hangers-on wanting to have their own conversation with me. I think it pisses Mum off a little that my attention is distracted from her for a moment, though. If I'm talking to someone else, she'll but in and ask me what I'm saying and asking me why I'm saying that - as if she never heard the question that was asked well within her earshot.