ten commandments

"Hi. I've just spoken to D [the Warden] and the guest room is free that weekend!"
"... What weekend? ... For whom?"
Mum hesitates as it dawns on her that maybe she's screwed up again.
"Well for D & G, of course. I've just checked and the room will be free for them"
D & G are my Aunt and Uncle. Mum sounds proud of herself for sorting this out on her own.
"Mum.... I booked it about two months ago for them, and they're not coming for a weekend but for a Thursday night!"
"Oh" [befuddled]
"Mum, it's already organised. You don't have to do anything."

After two weeks of daily calls about my Brother-in-Law's visit and the non-availability of the room for him, we've now switched back to this visit. Happy Days.

What I need is a large LCD screen hanging on Mum's wall which I can update remotely with our version of the Ten Commandments. Seven come to mind off the top of my head:

1. Eat 3 meals today and walk your dog
2. ALL your bills are already paid AUTOMATICALLY - do not send off any cheques
3. Do not sign up for a Direct Debit without talking to me
4. Use the health supplements you've already bought before spending £300 on a new batch
5. You've given away a lifetime's amount of money to charity - you will need charity yourself if you give away any more
6. Do not phone people before 9 am
7. If guests are coming, the arrangements have already been made by me. You don't need to do anything.

I'm sure the rest will come to me.